dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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