Your tits are I can't wait for
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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