I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
