Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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