i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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