Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Randomize
