we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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