Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
