Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
bring money and cleavage
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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