I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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