I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
COCAINE IS GR8
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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