it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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