I feel like abortions should bother me more
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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