Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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