i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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