I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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