no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
