woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
