New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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