Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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