Say something about gay babies.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
