Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
