All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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