get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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