So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
