i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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