OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
