Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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