Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it because I queefed?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
