He passed out mid-signature
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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