he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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