All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
