Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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