he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
