a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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