New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
