i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
