Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
