Little spoons don't ask big questions
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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