I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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