is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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