So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
