you traded sex for a burrito?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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