that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
