PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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