Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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