I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We don't watch enough power rangers
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
