you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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