saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
