I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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