First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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