It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
