fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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