So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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