I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
