you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
