come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
