we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
