so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
