My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize