Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
