Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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