They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
